Friday, September 21, 2007
Are Overseas Malaysians Ungrateful Children?
I came across interesting comments about ungrateful children with regard to my NEP article and I think it certainly makes valid discussion for people like me. As I have mentioned before, this is a heart-wrenching matter and I’m certainly not sitting here and smiling in glee that I have two old folks off my back.
I’m sure you would know that mine is not an uncommon case and there are many Malaysians abroad who are where they are today as a result of the same decision that their parents have taken as mine. Therefore, are all Malaysians abroad who left their parents at home ungrateful children?
Let us consider a hypothetical story. Lets say there is a poor couple in the kampong who toiled through night and day to support the education of their son in KL. Upon graduation, the son stayed back in the city to work and build a career. Because he is a salaried man and with his own family commitments, he is only able to go back to his kampong to visit his parents a few times a year or only during festive occasions. Does this story seem similar to mine, except for the location and distance? Now, if this man needs to drive 4 hours to go back to his hometown while I can get back to KL on a 3.5 hour flight to see my parents, is there a big difference? I think, in fact, many Malaysians are in this situation whereby they seek their fortunes and settle in the big cities while their parents remain in the small towns and villages. Are these Malaysians ungrateful children? If you were in their shoes, would you consider yourself an ungrateful child?
Back to my story. About my eldest brother this time. When my brother graduated with an engineering degree back in the 80’s, Malaysia was mired in recession. He came back to KL to look for work but jobs were scarce. At that time, my second brother was just in his second year at university while I was still schooling. Because the family was in need of money, my brother was motivated to look for a job abroad to help my father with the family finances, rather than waiting for a job to come to him at home. This predicament brought him out of the country to Singapore and subsequently, Australia, which is only natural given his Australian qualifications. It was partly through his overseas salary that he was able to help my father to finance my second brother and my university education. So, to me, my brother will never be an ungrateful son, wherever he may be today.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because I just wish people back home to understand that for many Malaysians who are abroad, there is usually a human story behind it and the circumstances that led them to wherever they are today. And not all Malaysians abroad chose to happily run away from home without a care for those who are left at home.
Perhaps we are ungrateful children in the eyes of some but that’s understandable because different people have different standards for a variety of issues in life after all. As long as we can take a little bit of time to understand each other a little bit better and hear out each other’s stories, that will be good enough for me. So, what is your story, wherever you may be?
I’m sure you would know that mine is not an uncommon case and there are many Malaysians abroad who are where they are today as a result of the same decision that their parents have taken as mine. Therefore, are all Malaysians abroad who left their parents at home ungrateful children?
Let us consider a hypothetical story. Lets say there is a poor couple in the kampong who toiled through night and day to support the education of their son in KL. Upon graduation, the son stayed back in the city to work and build a career. Because he is a salaried man and with his own family commitments, he is only able to go back to his kampong to visit his parents a few times a year or only during festive occasions. Does this story seem similar to mine, except for the location and distance? Now, if this man needs to drive 4 hours to go back to his hometown while I can get back to KL on a 3.5 hour flight to see my parents, is there a big difference? I think, in fact, many Malaysians are in this situation whereby they seek their fortunes and settle in the big cities while their parents remain in the small towns and villages. Are these Malaysians ungrateful children? If you were in their shoes, would you consider yourself an ungrateful child?
Back to my story. About my eldest brother this time. When my brother graduated with an engineering degree back in the 80’s, Malaysia was mired in recession. He came back to KL to look for work but jobs were scarce. At that time, my second brother was just in his second year at university while I was still schooling. Because the family was in need of money, my brother was motivated to look for a job abroad to help my father with the family finances, rather than waiting for a job to come to him at home. This predicament brought him out of the country to Singapore and subsequently, Australia, which is only natural given his Australian qualifications. It was partly through his overseas salary that he was able to help my father to finance my second brother and my university education. So, to me, my brother will never be an ungrateful son, wherever he may be today.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because I just wish people back home to understand that for many Malaysians who are abroad, there is usually a human story behind it and the circumstances that led them to wherever they are today. And not all Malaysians abroad chose to happily run away from home without a care for those who are left at home.
Perhaps we are ungrateful children in the eyes of some but that’s understandable because different people have different standards for a variety of issues in life after all. As long as we can take a little bit of time to understand each other a little bit better and hear out each other’s stories, that will be good enough for me. So, what is your story, wherever you may be?
Labels: Debate
# posted by Malaysian Abroad @ 9/21/2007 
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Something so typical of us Malaysians or should I include we Asians we always attack & curse the person when we disagree with what that person has said.We can all learn from the western friends.
Frankly I really disagree with you to be grateful to NEP.You should be most grateful you have a wonderful dad who could do something for you. So many poor Chinese did not make it like you and me. And a lot more will be victimised in the future if there is no change of heart.
Grateful to our dads, grateful that we had worked hard but NEP, NO!
Take care & God bless!
Frankly I really disagree with you to be grateful to NEP.You should be most grateful you have a wonderful dad who could do something for you. So many poor Chinese did not make it like you and me. And a lot more will be victimised in the future if there is no change of heart.
Grateful to our dads, grateful that we had worked hard but NEP, NO!
Take care & God bless!
Sometimes in life you get dealt with bad cards. You can't change what you're dealt with, but you can change the way you play your cards.
I am glad someone else voiced this topic out in the open. Sometimes I feel I am accountable for my own actions, yet at other times I feel forced into a corner, and had to make a choice that wasn't ideal. For those who have no business blood and just can't survive unless we "makan gaji", and have to tolerate the extreme "affirmative action" policies, it's also very difficult. We are all citizens of the country. How many years/centuries more will the other races of the country (non-bumis) will have to give up their educational spot, their housing spot, their government position promotions, etc, before we see fairer treatment?
What is justice? What is fair? Isn't the direction to promote fairness and justice, and strong work ethics? Isn't it natural law to allow the people who work hard and work smart to go a little further than those who do not? Isn't the vision in the end of the road justice and fairness to all? Or is it still about who's got what and which race has what?
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I am glad someone else voiced this topic out in the open. Sometimes I feel I am accountable for my own actions, yet at other times I feel forced into a corner, and had to make a choice that wasn't ideal. For those who have no business blood and just can't survive unless we "makan gaji", and have to tolerate the extreme "affirmative action" policies, it's also very difficult. We are all citizens of the country. How many years/centuries more will the other races of the country (non-bumis) will have to give up their educational spot, their housing spot, their government position promotions, etc, before we see fairer treatment?
What is justice? What is fair? Isn't the direction to promote fairness and justice, and strong work ethics? Isn't it natural law to allow the people who work hard and work smart to go a little further than those who do not? Isn't the vision in the end of the road justice and fairness to all? Or is it still about who's got what and which race has what?
# posted by 
: September 30, 2007 at 1:32 PM
: September 30, 2007 at 1:32 PM Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
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